When she returned my mom stood at the foot of the bed. She was dressed in pajamas. In fact that's all she ever wore to bed. Cotton pajamas in warm wea...her and flannel pajamas in cool weather."Good morning," I said finally.She didn't respond. Instead my mom crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me."Don't you have anything sexier to wear than those old pajamas?" I thought I was being sociable but Mom didn't take it that way."What I wear to bed is none of your goddamned business. Now get. Events had now progressed to the point that, short of calling off the wedding, they were out of our hands. With only a few days left, if something needed ordering or purchasing or planning, it was simply too late, and we would make do. This actually proved rather restful, in its own way.The estate continued to receive guests arriving, many of them James’ associates in business, traveling from Boston, New York, and Philadelphia. They used the time before the wedding to plan how James would. It was as if I was detached from my body, watching myself from across the room, and what I saw was both terrifying and absolutely thrilling.“What’s wrong, mom?” I heard Jeff ask“Oh, baby, I’m just so terribly lonely!”, I replied.“Aw, don’t cry, mom,” he said. “I miss Dad too.”“I just can’t bear it any more,” I sobbed.My son pulled me into his arms, as I had hoped and held me tight. My head was against his bare chest where I pressed my face against a firm, hairy nipple that could’ve been my. Through a crack in the curtains, I could see Mary still tending the flower beds. Once, twice, I called to her, but although my voice resounded clearly in my head, no sound was emitted. Mary looked so far away, as if outside of this room were a completely different world. My attention was quickly returned to my present situation when I felt a weight on by knees. This was madness! The weight felt exactly like a small person sitting astride my knees facing me. I could almost feel breath on my face.
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